'New York Daily News' Writer Updates His Spiritual W-2

According to my research, it appears that journalist Josh Barro (National Review and New York Daily News) currently enjoys a position on the payroll of New York City based think tank, The Manhattan Institute, chaired by the illustrious Paul Singer (GOP advocate and quasi-billion dollar hedge fund overlord). It seems Singer doles out this booty in exchange for slanderous articles aimed at discrediting the Occupy Wall Street movement in addition to the eternal control of Barro’s incorporeal essence.

Josh "Hell in a Hand Basket" Barro

A Sad Day in History / The Birth of a New Tradition

In memory of the late Steve Jobs, I request a moment of silence ..................... Thank you. October 5th marks a sad day in history as the world lost who I believe to be the Benjamin Franklin of your generation. That reminds me, I must call Ben. He's supposed to do a guest post for this blog.

Mr. Job's passing has inspired me to create a new posting tradition: T. Paine's Top 5. This edition of T. Paine's Top 5? Heroes.

T. Paine's Top 5 Heroes

5. Chuck D. of Public Enemy
4. Thomas Jefferson

3. T. Paine!
2. Steve Jobs
1. A TIE! Howard Schultz/Tom Hanks

Nothing less than Clover (TM) for this gentleman.

Oh, I cried and cried.

US Drones Have the Sniffles

I was browsing the interweb today on my iPhone while waiting to order my daily double caramel macchiato when I happened upon an alarming article about the compromised health of the US bomber drones.

Please, get this unmanned a tissue!

From wired.com/dangerroom: "A computer virus has infected the cockpits of America’s Predator and Reaper drones, logging pilots’ every keystroke as they remotely fly missions over Afghanistan and other warzones."

What are the ramifications of a sniffly drone? Besides raining fire on the innocent when it sneezes, a potential risk is that the virus, which records the operator's every "keystroke", could cause the public dispersion of classified military intelligence. The solution? The US military should call upon my good friend Benjamin Rush, famed allopath, for a good purging or blood letting. Back in my day, nothing would cure a runny nose quite like draining four-fifths of the body's blood supply.

Oh! My mind has settled upon a most gruesome thought! I hope the virus doesn't spread to iPhones. I still have the original one because I can't afford the new one. It's quite funny really, I live a mansion that I bought using my royalties from Common Sense. Ever since the expulsion of the British Empire there hasn't been much money in pamphleting. Now I live like a pauper in a castle. Just me and Chauncey. I've grown quite fond of Chauncey.

My iPhone, Chauncey. Don't catch cold, old boy! I love you so.

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (It Will Be Blogged)

Hello blogoshpere. T. Paine here. You may remember me from such works as The Age of Reason, Agrarian Justice, and Common Sense.

Common Sense a smash hit: Show me the publishing money!

In celebration of the upcoming 235th Anniversary of the smash hit, Common Sense, I've decided to start my own blog. I've been waiting for the perfect time to start pamphleting again, and I think the time has finally come. I was cheering you guys on from a distance when some of you started using early weblog prototypes in the 1990s. But not until more recently in the 2000s did the user participation stats meet my standards.

Did you know that when I wrote common sense back in 76' (1776 that is), one quarter of all American citizens read it? And how coincidental is this- Jeeves of www.ask.com (we go way back) told me that one quarter of the Earth's population uses the internet. Of that twenty-five percent, he says it's probable that seventy percent of those internet users are bloggers! According to my calculations, that's 1.2 billion people! Do you understand the ramifications of that? That means that 1.2 billion people have the ability to present their own unique opinions and ideas with out censorship. We founding fathers fought for a better world for all you young people with the tools that were available- quills and parchment... and blades and munitions... and sometimes scorching hot oil. At your disposal today is a tool much more powerful: a medim capable of insant mass transmission. I leave you with this: if Perez Hilton's celebrity gossip blog can get 8.2 million hits a day, just think of the potential for something with real meaning to humanity. I assure you my friends, the revolution will not be televised. It will be blogged.

An absolute madhouse, I tell you.

More on this later. My iPad is about to run out of batteries. Starbucks is really crowded today and there's someone using the outlet.

Yours,

T. Paine